I have learned that no one can comment on how it feels to lose a loved one! Sure we can all assume one should be moving on or doing one thing or another, but I have learned that each individual has to deal with grief in their own way. Just think about it for a moment. If a loved one is sick, then each journey is completely different from someone's else who is facing illness. Each cancer journey is different as one patient may be able to withstand the side effects of a cancer drug very differently then another. That's the way our body chemistry is made up. We are all individual's and our emotions and the way in which we deal with events are very, very unique to each of us. Thus, facing the loss of a loved one and in my case, a spouse, has to take time.
The best advice I could give anyone who may be grieving is to take your time and don't make any rash or hasty decisions. Why would you? It may feel right to decide on one thing today, but as time passes, you may realize that you have made a big mistake. A situation that cannot be reversed or changed...so take your time. Pretty much everyone has given me advice on how the "firsts" of everything, when a loved one passes, is difficult. That would be the first birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. Right now, even though I do find those "firsts" difficult, I'm sure I will continue to have the same feelings in two, five or ten years from now. Another common remark that I have heard is "oh yes, I know how you are feeling because I felt the same way when I lost someone".....I just let that go way over my head because they don't have a clue how I feel. Excuse me for being rash with that comment, but it is very true. While I know they meant well, why keep saying it every time we are together?
One of my husband's words was "FAITH". Such a small word but one that can be so profound. We all must have faith in our daily living to face what lies ahead. Without faith, there is little to hold on to.
I trust that whatever adversity you are facing today, that you will face it with FAITH, courage and strength. When I am having a difficult day, I look around and realize that many others are going through tragic situations and that I am not the only one who has to deal with loss.
Keep strong, keep the faith and make each day a special one!